Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Tweleve Things as Geeks You Know We've All Done.

If you're a music lover singing along with the radio is really no big deal, but if you're a music geek then you've probably played air guitar, pretend to hold the mic and maybe even do the point to the fake crow. My personal favorite, twirling the fake drumstick and tossing it in the air, then catching it. If you're big into sports you've probably made cheering noises when you do something like flip a pancake and say "and the crowd goes wild" 

Everyone does it, but as a pop culture geek ours get to be a bit more specific and I know I'm no the only one who's done these things, so just admit with me and count down this list of 12 things you know you've done because your a bit of a geek. 

1.  Use the force to get something like the remote or a utensil

We've all done it, you're sitting there on the couch, a terrible show comes on, you look for the remote and for some reason its across the room. You attempt to reach for it as though you could stretch or as if it were in perfect distance, but you know its not. Then... like Luke did in the Wampa's cave,(Empire Strikes Back for you non geeks) you clear your mind hear Ben's voice and focus. You reach out again, using the force seeing if it will come to you this time, but alas, you don't believe enough and it doesn't work for you. Shame on you, heretic. 

2. You Magneto Open Automatic Doors

You're walking along from the parking lot with you family, maybe just your kids, if you're me even if your wife is with you, you'll still do this. You approach the doors to your local grocery store and you lift up your arms outward as if prying the doors open with your hands, you use your Magneto powers to slide the doors open and allow your entrance. You may also do this in traffic to want to moves cars out of the way, however this is highly dangerous, you never know when those powers will kick in, so don't try it. 

3. Superman in an Elevator

For me it was at work, yes I'm going full on record that I did this, it only made it better that I worked for a newspaper, and our building had an elevator. I would get on the elevator and if no one else was there, as soon as the doors closed, I would bring my hands to my shirt as if I were going to rip it open and reveal my Superman shield across my chest. Look up to the ceiling of the elevator as if I were about to fly through the top and give that little jump to my stance. I however never flew threw the roof, I wouldn't know how to explain to everyone what happened. I also never got caught doing it, thank god, but here I am admitting to the world that, that's what geeks like us do.

4. Perform the Jedi Mind Trick

You probably weren't trying to hide droids, and I hope you didn't try it on a police officer who's pulled you over. (It doesn't work, trust me.) But at one point or another just like we used the force we tried Ben's Jedi Mind trick. Whether it was on your Mother, siblings, your dog, girl friend, wife, just admit it. You at one point you tried to get someone to do something by using the Jedi Mind trick. Its even in one of the scenes of my favorite movies, Fanboys. 

5. The Vulcan Neck Pinch

Just like the two Star Wars tries, you were hoping this worked as well, especially when that really big jock wanted to beat the crap out of you after school. And while if you were to apply a decent amount of pressure to a nerve cluster in someone's body, in fact if you can hit someone's subclavian nerve cluster, which is located near the neck with a decent amount of force you can knock them unconscious. You could also kill them, so don't try this at home, its a move in martial arts, its not a pinch so much as a strike, probably because if you pinched someone there they'd just smack you to get off of them. Here however is an example of how real it could be.

6. Calculate the web swing

For me as a kid sitting in the back of my parents car as they drove I would lean my head back and watch the street lights whip by and I'd imagine shooting the web from post to post web swinging Spider-Man style down the street. As an adult however I'm usually the driver so watching street posts isn't an option and I've matured. Now when I'm walking downtown and I see the distance between two buildings I'll actually do the math and calculate. Okay if I were to shoot the web to that part of the building and the web was X long, at that angle I'd have to swing to Y, and then release so I could shoot the next web to point B. Yeah...geek math.

7. Pull a Batman and disappear from a conversation

Now this is a great one to do in offices with cubicles, but you have to wait for that ideal opportunity. Here's an example. John is talking to Jesse in pathway in front of their offices, they're discussing the upcoming meeting and what each needs to bring. John sees Kevin approaching from behind and he knows Kevin was looking for Jesse earlier. John now slowly and inconspicuously moves closer to his office door while also bringing the conversation to an end. Kevin will then call out to Jesse. Once Jesse turns to acknowledge Kevin, John quickly darts into his office but makes no noise. Jesse responds briefly to Kevin asking to wait one moment and then turns back to John to ensure politely that the conversation has ended. But John has disappeared! Jesse you just got Batmaned. BOOM. (This works)

8. Cast a Harry Potter Spell

Can't see something in a dark room or in your closet? Need to pick up a book you've dropped or something else. Possibly you would like to see open sores explode all over your neighbor's body so they'll stop complaining about your sprinkler. Whichever I'm sure if you've read the Harry Potter books, or even just seen the movie you to has waved your finger and said Wingardium Leviosa. Its a little easier here in our house since the last time we visited Universal Studios we made sure every member of our house has their own personal wand. 
(Sydney and Austin were chosen at Olivanders to get wands)

9.  Throw a Ha-Do-Ken

Maybe you were driving, or you were just thinking about what you'd like to do to that women who doesn't know how to use the self checkout at Tops, but you stood there channeled your Chi and in your head you shouted out Ha DoKen! and delivered a Street Fighter finisher. Now if you're a bit younger than I am, it might have been a Kami Kami Ha! via Dragon Ball Z, but they're basically the same thing. Massive ball of energy that you shoot from you body to hit someone with, sounds kinda gross when you write it out like that. 

10. Pop Your Claws

Oh look, mails here, dang this letter, if only I could...hmmmm... SNIKT. Yeah, you've done it or said it, popped your Wolverine claws and wished you had those admantium blades so you could do simple tasks like open the mail, canned food, shave. But alas you have no mutant powers what is one to do. Buy them! Yep, you can't believe how many different versions of Wolverine's claws you could buy out there. Or you could make them like this goof did, but I don't think once his mom gets home, she's going to be to happy that he almost cut up her couch. 

11. I Have the Power!

Have you ever held a real sword in your hand? Sure you've swung it around and yeah you probably pretended to be a ninja or a pirate but sooner or later there's only one guy you imagine becoming. Well, not Dolph Lundgren, well maybe not, but you're definitely wishing you had the power of castle gray skull at your command and were jogging around in a fur speedo. Okay maybe not the fur speedo part, but He-Man was cool!

12. Wonder if Oa is underneath the escalator at the mall

Please tell me I'm not the only one that has noticed this, go to most department stores, take a couple steps back from the escalator and you'll notice that underneath this simply disguised machine is a gateway to the center of the universe and central batter of Will POWER! You might even want to point your ring at the steps and recite the oath. In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight, let those who ride this escalators might, beware my power GREEN LANTERNS LIGHT! 

I couldn't find an image of this online, however there is a website that has a stock photo of it, but I'm not paying for the image, however here's the site that has captured the Green Lanterns under the escalator. Here

That's my list of 12, I'm sure there's more out there, feel free to comment and tell me what you've done that's geeky.