Sunday, May 2, 2010

Todays Trending Topics

I will on occasion look at whats trending on Google or Yahoo and chime in with my two cents about one of the topics that seem to be catching the worlds eye. Today's list of trending topics is a bit weird and could possibly be a new super hero team.

1.Conan O'Brien - on 60 minutes tonight, so everyone can hear what the former Simpsons writer and long time tonight show host, has to say about where he is and where he's going. While everyone thought he was going to Fox he's on his way to TBS and bumping George Lopez up a bit in time. The two of them together are a weird hair and large head crime fight duo.

3.Bret Michaels - is said to make a full recovery, and no lie this is what it said, "doctors say it was due to his will to live". Well we we're going to try medical science but then his mighty rocker powers called out to the Guardians of Oa, and an emerald ring was bestowed upon his finger. 'In brightest day in blackest night, no groupie shall escape my sight, let those who rock to Poison at night, beware my power Bret Michaels Light!'

5.Miley Cyrus - She made the top five because apparently she's desperate to marry her 'hunky boyfriend' Did you see the Party in the USA video? Yeah, i don't think its the 'getting married' she's desperate to try out. However, thank you Disney for churning out these teen sensations that grow up and cause guys every where to go 'wait, that's Hanna Montanna?!' Oh!

6.Tiger Woods - apparently he played a bad round of golf and didn't make the cut for the tour. I'm sure he's home right now crying on his big pile of money and checking his Facebook friend requests for any new Denny's waitresses.

7.Lindsay Lohan - Ugh. Why are we obsessed with her, whens the last time she made a good movie? Herbie? Mean Girls? or maybe I know who Killed Me. Yeah I know who killed you too Lindsay, you did. Your bitchy, your a hoarder and frankly your only mildly attractive, evil ginger, lets all do whats best for Lindsay and her whacked out dad and forget about her.

8.Halle Berry - apparently from what I can see when I click her name she broke up with someone, maybe she was upset Sandra Bullock was getting all of her old sympathy and she wanted some attention. Sorry, no sympathy here, you sucked in X-Men and nearly killed the film, thank god you only had like 5 lines in each one.

9.Saturn Storm - I thought this was going to be about a car, nope its about a storm on Saturn. Weird. Its apparently so bad you can see it from Earth. I couldn't spot it, I was too distracted by the rings swirling, I also get distracted when I see my own eyes in the rear view mirror of a car, its like I'm in the reflection buy not, like I'm transparent, that always freaks me out. I worry that someone some where is altering the past and I'm fading away like Michael J. Fox from Back to the Future. Also, in related to Halle Berry, the Saturn Storm would have made a better Storm.

10.Shroud of Turin - The cloth that is said to have been the burial cloth of Jesus Christ was visited by the Pope. They hung out, watched some play off hockey, had some beers ordered some wings but the Pope got kicked out when he accidentally went to wipe BBQ wing sauce off on the Shroud. This is why I do not like BBQ wings, I mean they taste good, but you might accidentally wipe your hands on a cloth that once covered the creator of all that is.
You'll note some numbers are missing, I didn't think a National ID card or the White House correspondent dinner would make for good blog material. This is probably why I'm not nominated for blogger of the year. I don't like politics. boom